Liar Liar Pants for Hire

Awkwardness seems to come as an art for my husband. He happens to say things that could possibly be embarrassing without realising how people take what he says into context. His humor sometimes is awkward, well mainly for I. *He passes "gas"*. "Oh that, um yeah I ... um popped my back" He could lie about anything ... like "I poop rainbows". Other than that, his lies come a minimum with lies of "I forgot" to lies that hurt like "So, Why do I care?" His most famous lie to date is "My farts? That wasn't mine, that was um, the cat? Or you?" I agree I have lied from time to time to him like this one time I forgot that I passed gas and I said "Did you fart?" he said "No!" I said "Oh yeah, that was me, my bad!" I have told serious lies to him that has hurt his feelings. The lie started out as I wanted to make him feel better because we aren't able to get pregnant (I don't even want to try anymore at this time anyways) but anyways the lie was "I'm pregnant". I mainly did it so he wouldn't put himself down so much and now he pretty much hates me and brings it up every time we argue. I guess I'm more of a liar than anyone else, my lies hurt people that actually care about me instead of lying to people I dislike or don't know. I even told his mother and his grandmother but I'm not sure if his grandmother even believes that I was lying. She lives all the way in California and she is getting old but the only thing we did for her was got married so she was able to see her grandson happy... well he was on March 5th anyways. Today it seems as if the only thing that makes him happy is if we have sex or a good meal.